Monday, November 30, 2009

A little about me.

First I should tell you that I am de-emphasizing some things about my past that I am embarrassed about or is subject to a non-disclosure agreement.

I was born in the Isle of Lipari where my parents were moderately successful cuttlefish merchants. (It's true, even cuttlefish ink is used in Italian cooking). I lived my first ten years in modest luxury. The only real childhood drama that I had was a nasty series of ear infections and a undeveloped sense of morality that was caused by a lack of vitamin K.

Fleeing the revolution, my parents took me to Brazil where they had just purchased a Jatoba plantation. It was there that I learned to love books, engineering, and thrift. Unfortunately the family plantation was seized by the city council to make way for a new favela that was being planned.

To the USA, I was 16 and almost fluent in two languages. We landed in Miami and made our way to Estero Bay where our last family home was purchased. I do not know all of the details but there were an awful lot of Canadians in and out of the guest bedrooms. Just under a year later, a week before my 17th birthday, a black short bus pulled up and left with my parents. I still miss poor P&M. At the time of the abduction I was in the Yes, Reading, That is what I was doing.

17 years old and on my own. I had little else than the clothes on my back, the change in my pockets, and $37k in the bank. I had recently seen The Goonies and therefor felt a powerful pull to the west coast. I came to Oregon to start a new life with a new name.

I arrived in Portland and found work as a lumberjack before I even left the airplane. The stewardess had passed out applications an hour before we landed.
I loved my new job, driving to majestic old-growth rain forests that had been unchanged for a thousand years. then cutting them down. Many an evening were spent drinking micro-brews and roasting owls over an open fire. That is how I met my wife, my soul mate.

In the all the years since, I've considered myself very lucky to have the warm companionship and love of my pet rabbit, Mr. Clankers.


  1. Mr. Clankers speaks to me through my ouija board. He says it's OR-Y-GUN, not OH-REH-GONE.

  2. You breezed through Miami and landed in Portland?? ¡Ay, Diós Mio! How'd THAT happen??