Sunday, December 12, 2010

You have termites in your smile



You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch!
You’re a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You’ve got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn’t touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I’d take the seasick crocodile!
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
“Stink, stank, stunk!”
You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You’re the king of sinful sots!
Your heart’s a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an appalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You’re a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Mr. Grinch!
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

4 comments:

  1. Where does one purchase arsenic sauce?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for referencing the fictional character based upon my actual persona though he was, of course, toned down in an attempt to make him more believable and he did go bad at the end of the story as told by Theodore.

    You, by the way, now owe me royalties for using my likeness.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful!

    My 3rd favorite Christmas song!

    A fantanstic way to start off a Monday!

    BTW: Arsenic sauce is a great condiment. Such a versatile item it goes well with everything.

    Yum.

    ReplyDelete