Sunday, August 8, 2010

The number 20

If you are shopping for a new number, I suggest that you consider the number twenty.

Twenty was invented in the late 1300s by a French monk. An Englishman had just called him "a cheese-eating surrender monkey" and the monk replied with "I shall install nineteen, no...uh....TWENTY, Yes, twenty lices in your underwear!"  The Englishman did not know what twenty was, but he knew about lices so he apologized and went on his way.

The historical significance of the number twenty has shining moments and dark times as well. There were twenty people on the moon in 1969 when NASA held their first annual kegger in a crater party. On the darker side, Torquemada used twenty spikes and twenty heathens in his directorial debut "Happy Huggy Questions and Answers".

Twenty is also very versatile.You can use it to change a flat tire, divide it by broccoli, whiten your teeth, and also for your, um, marital problems.

In short: buy it now! Or buy eighty and share with friends! Just leave me alone...

Paid for by the four times five council.


  1. Nice disclosure at the end. But how many calories does the number 20 have?

  2. I only use fat-free, artificially sweetened twenty, and then only in sensible portions. This makes me better than you.

    PS--this post cracks me up. :-D

  3. If I did not hate the four times five council so much for their dirty, underhanded back-stabbing of the five times four council, I would totally switch to the number 20

  4. If I get to twenty via the route of 3 squared + 3 squared +2, does that make me properly diversified as opposed to 3 cubed - 2 squared - 3?