It is national Be Kind to Spiders Day! Note: do not read.

This day, for some, it the most holy day of the year. Today is the day that you should show your eight legged companion the love and respect that he or she deserves. There are many ways of doing this.

For example I just helped Esmerelda (a jumping spider) down from her frightening stay on the ceiling. I asked where she wanted to go, and she informed me that jumping spiders are partial to sleeping in pillowcases.

Ethen (a hobo spider) managed to get stuck in the bathtub. A chauffeured ride to the back garden later and now we are fast friends. We have beer and poker nights every Thursday.

Ellen (a wolf spider although she sees herself as a couger) was looking kind of blue as she sat on the kitchen soap. We got to talking and I discovered that all she needed was a darker shade of lipstick to really perk up her self image.Ellen really loves her new goth look and has been quite successful with the younger men.

Now here are a few bit of trivia that I bet you did not know:

• If you gift a favor to a spider, they will change the oil in your car.
• Spiders are very affectionate and love a good cuddle.
• All spiders must have at least two of the letter E in their name. This is just good sense.
  
• If you walk though a narrow place and get a web across the face, that is the web owner's way of claiming you as his bitch.
• Spiders are the Giraffes fiercest enemy.
• All arachnids can cross breed with rodents.
  
• It is considered good luck to have a spider swinging from your sunvisor while you drive.