Monday, April 19, 2010

I found a letter today

After my joking post of yesterday, today's blog post is kind of a coincidence.
Picking up the mail today I noticed a sheet of neatly folded paper on the ground near the mailbox. It is such a strange letter I knew that I must transcribe it on my blog.

Note: This appears to be page one of many, I only found a single sheet.

My Friend *****
I am sorry to have neglected to write to you or even email over the last few months. I felt that I should write a letter as it is more personal than an email.

When I started this project you warned me and explained the myriad ways I could go wrong. I felt that the risk was worth taking because, although not monetarily rewarding, a positive result would be deeply satisfying.
Everything went well at first. The suppliers you suggested were agreeable to the terms that we laid out (thank you again for your guidance on that) and I quickly collected the material and assistance that I needed. Your foresight saw me through multiple hurdles. Unfortunately there were unforeseen consequences in my personal life that I had to overcome to pursue my goal. I never thought that I would miss what I had to expunge; the cost was higher than I had hypothesized
For obvious reasons I cannot go into detail about my failure. I will spend a couple of months in ***** to study the aberrant results. Further contact should shortly follow depending on my disposition at that time.

Truly I am expecting your displeasure regarding the personal cost of this project and how it will effect our relationship. You have often told me that I am cynical in my interpretation of human nature and that we could season any rough weather. I feel that I can predict how you will react to the probable future that now lies before me. This is much rougher weather than most.

I can give you a few vague details about my recent months to somewhat mollify your overdeveloped curiosity.
Following the first test the results were tainted by a partial breakdown of my willpower. My emotional state prevented full diligence. After marshaling my reserves I completed the second test satisfactorily, although I was in quite a position for many days afterward. Beginning the third test I found myself with uncontrollable tremors and a very fragile constitution. I could only go on after dosing myself with the remedy that you had thoughtfully provided. The test-


  1. All I ever find is BLOWOUT SALE!!! and SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!